The Posters are Red...that's a theme.

I feel like I've gone from 0 to 60 these past two weeks. Work has finally found a way to occupy much of my time, and I am back to editing my manuscript as well as working on my portrait drawing skills. I did manage to watch a good amount of horror movies the past two weeks, but have given little energy to write about them. So I'm going to give four of them a go in one sitting. I'll try to keep them all in bite size chunks, and not fill you up with the first and leave you with crumbs for the last. Terrible analogy. I'm tired. Let's do this.

Beyond the Black Rainbow

Panos Cosmatos' first film Beyond the Black Rainbow is one of the most terrifying movies I have ever seen. Now, before you go out and rent it expecting to see Exorcist X100 let me just emphasize that horror is a very subjective thing. What scares you reveals a lot about you, and this film taps into some of my fears. Fear of loss, fear of control, fear of loss of control. The story is simple, which allows Cosmatos to saturate his film in atmosphere and ideas. A young woman with psychic powers is kept captive at a holistic, healing facility by a sadistic psycho-pharmacologist. Over the course of the film, she makes her escape, and says only five words in the process. 

Much like the facility the young woman is imprisoned in, the first 30 minutes of the film lulls you from a feeling of claustrophobia into a dreamlike trance with its lush visuals and cold, synth score. But just as you begin to feel safe and secure in the visual prison Cosmatos has created for you, the director breaks with the visual tone. The effect is unsettling, recreating the feeling of dread you started the film with, and then it hits you with a image so nightmarish I literately gasped out loud at the sight of it. And in the last 30 minutes Cosmatos managed to evoke the same reactions in me again. 

Full disclosure, this is the second time I've seen Rainbow, the first time was before I plopped myself into a theater seat to watch his second move, the masterpiece Mandy. But I wanted to revisit it, wondering if it would still have the same impact on me. Well, although I didn't gasp out loud twice again (too much to ask now that the element of surprise was gone) it still had an impact on me. I have to say I loved it even more the second time. I also have to say I hope some people will watch this after reading this so they can either share in my awe or tell me to get my head out of my ass. Love it or hate it, its just that kind of movie. 

Beyond the Black Rainbow Report Card

General Horror Fans: C
Jump Scare Fans: F
Creepy Vibe Fans: A
Gore Hounds: B
Monster Mash: F
Yours Truly: A+

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night

And now for a film I desperately wanted to love. So many elements of this worked for me. Beautiful black and white cinematography, effective vampire attack scenes, great music, the evocative image of a chador-wearing vampire gliding on a skateboard over empty, desolate streets, themes of loss and alienation, and a dreamlike atmosphere that quickly turns into a nightmare. So what was the problem? Unfortunately, at times, I was just bored. The main element, love story between a young, directionless man and a mysterious vampire, just did not engage me. I was far more interested in the times they were apart from each other than the times they were together. It believe it was that disconnect that kept me from embracing this wholeheartedly. 

This is a movie I believe I will give another chance somewhere down along the road, and I am open to the distinct possibility that I will like it more the second time. I believe there is more to the this movie than hinted at by its surface, but I didn't feel the same curiosity I did when watching an equal opaque vampire movie, the 2008 Swedish film Let the Right One In. Perhaps it was because the central characters in Let the Right One In have clear motivations, while the aimless souls of A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night struggle to redefine their lost lives but do so in such a languid manner I started to drift away from the film when it wanted me to drift with it instead.

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night Report Card

General Horror Fans: C
Jump Scare Fans: C
Creepy Vibe Fans: B
Gore Hounds: C
Monster Mash: B
Yours Truly: B-

Chopping Mall

Thank god for movies like Chopping Mall. After two movies like Beyond and Girl, this was a real palate cleanser. Although rather than washing down your fancy, expensive entree with the nice, acidic burn of a chardonnay you do it with a nice, cool Budwieser. I actually hate Budwieser, but I think it would do this film an injustice by trying to class it up by comparing it to a microbrew.  A movie about security guard robots who run amok killing teens trying to screw each other in a mall after hours deserves no such elevation in status. I won't bore you by referencing all the legendary (in my world anyway) b-listers who grace this film, or even go into the way they bite the dust. Except that I will mention it has one of the best head explosions I've seen outside a Croenberg film. If you have tired of movies that try to be more than dumb fun, but also are sick of movies that are just dumb, you could do far worse than this 80's schlock classic. 

 Chopping Mall Report Card

General Horror Fans: B
Jump Scare Fans: D
Creepy Vibe Fans: F
Gore Hounds: A
Monster Mash: B
Yours Truly: A-

V/H/S/2

I thoroughly enjoyed and was creeped out by the first V/H/S movie. I thoroughly enjoyed V/H/S/2, but creeped out by it? Not so much. Much like my review of Girl, this one could easily devolve into many "yada yada yada BUT..." type sentences so I'll spare you the tedious repetition and just say that this was going for more laughs and gross out gags than scares, and in that it did actually succeed. So kudos for the series, it managed to make a sequel that was essentially the same and do enough different with it to keep me interested. Although the first was superior in terms of horror, I could actually see myself re-watching this one more often. No small accomplishment in my book, considering it ended with a tongue wagging zombie giving the camera a thumbs up. 

V/H/S/2 Report Card

General Horror Fans: A
Jump Scare Fans: B+
Creepy Vibe Fans: B-
Gore Hounds: A+
Monster Mash: A-
Yours Truly: B+